Is My A** Showing?

If I had a dollar for every time I laugh and say “Wow, is my age showing?!”I might have enough money to afford a treatment to turn back the hand of time. Last week I noticed a wrinkle on my forehead and have now developed an unrelenting urge to stretch it out any spare moment I have (while driving is a great chance). Not is it just wrinkles, but I often feel like my pants fit tighter some days and panic since a slower metabolism comes with elderly age!! I know it must be that considering I think I ate just the same amount of chocolate and pizza when I was younger…
The next sign I keep running into over and over again is the lack of interest in the club scene. Don’t get me wrong. I LIVE TO DANCE and this is no lie. However, I’m quite certain I do not remember the last time I went to a club in anything less than a short sleeve shirt and pants. Most often it’s been a long sleeve top.
I’m sure all the 18 yr old girls are laughing “you old broad! I bet you don’t even dance like you say!” Ok, well I do, but my priorities have changed.
I remember a time where coats were never an option, running from the car to the bar line up in heels are the only choice, and the only option for clothing was a mini black skirt with a mini tank top . Freeze our bums off? Yes. Got away with not giving coat check a dime? Yes. Tried to flirt with bouncer to get in? Yes. Felt like guys must think we are the hottest group? Double Yes. Getting all the boys numbers? Ye…uhh liiiike I just came to dance with my friends.

Yeah. Priorities now are more like: Will I be extremely grumpy if I have to be in the cold with bare legs/arms? Yes. Will I leave if there is any chance of me standing in a line? Yes. Is coat check worth my $3? Yes, I’ll give $5 because my sanity is worth it. Will the guy friends I’m with ward off potential creeps? Yes. Will I still have fun even if I left at midnight? Hell yes. Sleep is my drug.
Downside? The last two times I went to the club, I got my scarf and jacket stolen. Point goes to the 19yr old me. Maybe she was onto something shivering in that bar line up.

Gosh. I love this age, but I often love making fun of it more. Next time on “Is My A** Showing?”, we will discuss the horrifying phenomenon that is known as: Baby Fever. Damn my uterus.
Love love,

Amanda Signature


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